August 8th

More rain.

Zeuss floated past the window inside an inner-tube looking very cross.

 

August 9th

Karen and Nigel came over for dinner.

It’s been long overdue, but I felt I should learn to cook before having actual guests.

When I was young, I’d just ply everyone with copious amounts of alcohol – so much that I could pass off a burnt macaroni cheese as Penne Flambéed, but I’m finding as my friends age with me, that no longer works so I’ve had to learn to cook, no getting away from it.

Nigel had two helpings, so it can’t have been that bad.  

 

August 10th

Apple Crumble probably isn’t the best food to eat when you are on a diet.

I’ve been dieting diligently for almost two whole weeks and getting thinner by the minute – until, that is,  I indulged a large portion of Apple Crumble.

It would have been rude not to.

 

Aug 11th

Brent went over to THE HOUSE and spent the whole day lying under the bath tub – as you do.

I spent the day limping around moaning about my sore hip and dieting. I’m getting quite good at dieting.

 

 

Aug 12th

I made it to the GYM but it nearly killed me.

I think someone must have set fire to my hip during the night. Luckily a wonderful osteopath sorted it for me.

Then I read a book about hypothyroidism, where a low body temperatue can be an indicater. My body temperature is so low you could put a crate of champagne on it and call it a freezer.

 

Aug 13th

Brent and I went to the BANK for wee chat with a very nice banking consultant with an arresting hairstyle who seemed to be about 12 years old.

His desk looked like he’d been caught out at an Origami party. Little pieces of bright coloured paper lay strewn across the desk with notes written on them.

When he turned his computer towards us I was expecting to see a space invaders game.

Brent had his ‘interested’ look on his face and seemed to understand what the consultant was on about.

August 14th

If HYPOthyroid means too little thyroid and HYPERthyroid means too much, what does HYPOchondriac mean? Is there a HYPERchondriac? And why is HYPOcrite pronounced HIPPOcrit? What happens when you are low on CRITE?