April 4th

Lambo is back.
Apparently he’d been sneaking in and out of the paddock for a while now, always managing to return by the time we got home. The ewes next door had been tempting him over with a woolly allure completely irresistible to him.

Unfortunately for him, one morning two weeks ago, he was over there when the paddock was mustered and he got caught up in it.
Fortunately the sheep were simply moved a few paddocks away and there he stayed until the farmer got wind of the saga of our missing sheep and got in contact with us.Bryan (the farmer) was kind enough to drive over and pick Brent up to show him where the sheep were.

“Dunno if he’s in there or not” he said.
“Righto” said Brent, “I’ll soon know”
“Dunno how you will be able to tell if he’s there” said Bryan cheerfully.
“I’ll call him” said Brent, who hasn’t met many farmers.

They got to the paddock and stopped the Ute to open the gate. About 100 sheep ran flat out in the opposite direction. Brent called Lambo. Bryan rolled his eyes. An enormously fat sheep stopped running away and turned to face Brent.
Resplendent in a woollen smoking jacket, Lambo stood there, guiltily, chewing his cud.

“Bugger,” said Lambo. (According to Brent)
“Dunno how you’ll catch him” said Bryan.
Brent called Lambo over. It was a touching reunion in which Bryan may (or may not) have shed a tear or two.

Lambo and Brent arrived home soon after but it was a disappointing homecoming for Lambo as the rest of the sheep are up the road at Ngaire’s place and Lambo would have to spend a very lonely night until I managed to find a trailer in which to transport him over there.
He was still in the paddock as I drove off the next day to get the trailer but by the time I got back, he’d gone AWOL again. I wasn’t worried as I had a fair idea where he would be so I drove on over to the next farm.

As I drove across the fields I was bemused to see a large sheep being tackled by Bryan. I pulled up beside him.
“This bloody sod of a sheep” said Bryan, “Is lucky he’s not a roast lamb by now”.
“Bit early for that” I said.
“He” said Bryan, flicking a thumb in the general direction of Lambo, “was standing by my bedside when I woke up this morning”.
“He what?”
“ Standing by my bedside staring at me, bold as brass” said Bryan.
“But what was he doing there?”
“You tell me.”
There isn’t a lot you can say to someone who is accusing your sheep of being a bedside pervert.
“Inside?”
“Inside my bedroom and he’d had to climb two flights of stairs to get there.”
“Are you sure?”
Bryan pulled out his cell phone. He said he wouldn’t have believed it himself so he thought he’d better take some pictures. Sure enough, there was Lambo standing by a wooden bedside lamp looking like he was in a hurry to be somewhere.
I gulped and opened the back of the trailer.

“Dunno how you’ll get him up there” said Bryan shaking his head.
I turned to Lambo and nodded towards the trailer. Lambo jumped on board immediately and stood patiently waiting for me to do the back up.
“In 30 years of farming” said Bryan, “ I have never met a sheep like that one”.
He insisted that I drive over and take a look at the crime scene.

Lambo, it transpired, had wandered around the garden, pruning the flowers before heading inside - Bryan likes to leave his front door ajar - not finding anyone downstairs, he had climbed the steep narrow stairs to Bryan’s bedroom where he stood patiently waiting for him to wake up.
“Give me a hell of a shock” said Bryan, “Opened me eyes and there he was staring at me with this evil look”.
“I suspect he wanted to ask if he could borrow your Ute” I said, “You know, impress the ewes no end if he drove up in that - Imagine their surprise”.
“Imagine my surprise” said Bryan, still shaking his head as I left.

Lambo has been reunited with his flock, he has a lot to talk about.
Bedlamb took me aside before I left.
“Lambo is insufferable,” he said, “He’ll be wanting his own Talk Show next - Lambo Live”.

 

 

 

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