July 11th
I’ve got Bronchitis, just like Zeuss had.
Like Zeuss, I am not a smoker so I don’t understand why I should get it, but I have and it has wiped me out. All I can do is lie around in the sun with the cats – in itself, not a bad way to spend the time except it doesn’t get things done and that’s annoying. So now I am not only feeling sick but I am sick and cross. Lucky Brent.

 

 

 

July 12th
We had a bit of wind today.
I piled a bunch of clothes and sheets onto the clothes line (as you do) and watched for a while in no small amount of awe as the sheets flapped about like the spinnaker sails on a large yacht.
Then, something happened; you know when your umbrella blows inside out in a gust of wind?
Well, that’s exactly what happened. Imagine my surprise.

 

 

July 13th
My website is down due to some imbecile in domain name registration omitting to inform me that the registration was due.

After trying to get hold of someone over a 36 hour period, I finally latched onto the registration service live ‘chat’, where you actually get to talk to a ‘real live person’.

After a couple of minutes of ‘argy bargy’ in there, I was wishing I’d opted for the ‘real dead person’. They would have been more use to me. I can only think there must have been an end of season sale at the cerebral department in the town near where their office is.

The ‘real live person’ obviously had a list of responses to my questions from which he was unable to deviate. For example, when I typed “Hello my site has been taken down due to my domain name registration having expired and I need it back up as soon as possible because not only can one not see my site but I can not receive emails”...

He typed this “Very sorry for any inconvenience caused to you, I will have someone email you when they have looked into it”

To which I responded, “Like I said, my email isn’t actually working”.

There was a long pause during which he was obviously frantically scanning through several sheets of ‘auto responses’ trying to find the right one, finally I get this… ”We hope you had an enjoyable visit at *******.com, please visit us again soon”.

To which I typed the only logical response, “Please would you put me onto one of your ‘real live persons’, I seem to have stumbled upon The Department of the Cerebrally Terminated.”

 I was tempted to ask if all of their technical department staff were a few feathers short of a whole duck. I’m not sure when my site will be up – or even IF…In the mean time I can only hope…

July 14th
The Phantom and I went out for our first ride in about a month.
It was wonderful.
He has been exceptionally grumpy lately and I’ve been worried about him.
Now I know what his grumpiness is all about: Boredom.
He was as happy as a clam as we bounced out down the road, full of VIM and VIGOUR as we cantered along the side roads, putting in an extended trot along the swampy grass verges, positively ecstatic as we sploshed through large puddles, radiating sheer joy as he accepted his ‘happy meal’ after the ride and flat out fast asleep when I checked in on him an hour later.

July 15th
Flossom has installed herself into our bed in what appears to be a permanent basis.
I think she’s doing it to make sure that I keep my ’grubby mitts’ off Brent.
“She gets the night terrors” said Brent.

July 16th

I’m traumatized.

I watched a program last night about the most seriously obese people in the whole wide world; so huge they are immobile. (I know I shouldn’t have watched it and I didn’t intend to but it was one of those things that you start off thinking I’ll just see a tiny bit of this and you end up unable to tear your eyes away for the rest of the program).

A behemoth woman lay naked on a bed with her stomach flowing in front of her like a deflated blimp, talking about her love life.

“Basically”, she said, matter-of-factly, as her husband and various workers ran around wiping and feeding her, “the human body is a sex machine”.

Obviously, whatever it was that was being removed from her, was being taken away to be placed in incubators to hatch.

 

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