The Immediate Verbal Review
(Which Tragically Vanishes)
GAP Greyhound, waiting for a new home.
When I present clients with their photographs, they are often overcome with emotion.
“Oh my GOD, these are AMAZING.”
“I’m actually crying.”
“These are the best photos we’ve ever had.”
Wonderful. Incredible. Life-affirming.
Then you politely say, “If you get a chance to leave a review, that would be amazing.”
And weeks later when I finally get around to remembering having asked for one… nothing.
These glowing compliments float gently into the atmosphere, never to be written down, smoke signals if you like, sent exclusively to the universe.
The Follow-Up Email
(A Masterclass in Being Ignored)
I finally get around to sending a friendly, non-threatening email.
Subject line: “Would love a review!”
Tone: Warm. Grateful. Casual. Not desperate.
I even include:
Clear instructions
Zero pressure
Possibly a smiley face
Silence.
This email joins the sacred realm of “I’ll get to that later”, where it will remain forever, nestled between unpaid parking tickets and unread newsletters.
The “I’ll Do It Tonight” Lie
(We’ve All Told It)
Sometimes, a client will reply.
“Oh yes! I absolutely will! I’ll do it tonight 😊”
Reader, they do not.
Tonight becomes tomorrow. Tomorrow becomes “next week”. Next week becomes a distant memory, like dial-up internet or affordable housing.
At no point is a review written, but the intention was extremely sincere.
The Reminder Email
(Now Featuring Guilt)
I wait. I don’t want to be that person.
Eventually, I send a gentle reminder.
I rewrite it seventeen times to avoid sounding:
Pushy
Needy
Passive-aggressive
As if I am holding their dog hostage until they comply
Still nothing.
At this point, I assume the email has triggered a deep psychological response and they’ve blocked me out of self-preservation.
The Rare Unicorn Review
And then, once in a blue moon, it happens.
A client writes a review.
It’s beautiful. Thoughtful. Detailed. Mentions how relaxed they felt, how much they love the images, how their mum cried, how the dog was “surprisingly cooperative.”
I read it twelve times.
I screenshot it.
I consider printing it out and framing it.
This review is now my emotional support document.
In Conclusion
Getting someone to write a review is not about satisfaction. It’s about timing, memory, emotional energy, and whether Mercury is in retrograde.
So if you’ve ever meant to leave a review and didn’t — know that you are forgiven. Mildly judged. But forgiven.
And if you did leave one?
You are a hero. A legend. A pillar of the small business community.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to draft another “friendly reminder” email and whisper encouragement to my laptop.
