Confessions of a Pet Photographer Surviving Canine ‘Over exuberance’

three bull breed dogs running towards camera

As a professional pet photographer, I’ve seen things.

Things I can’t unsee.

Mouths so wide open they look like deep sea fish, tongues flapping in the wind, cat yoga poses that should be illegal, and worst of all, owners whose idea of dressing for the shoot is the sort of outfit that wouldn’t go amiss at Kmart.

Recently, my left tibia discovered the sheer destructive power of an overexuberant bull breed missile.

You think photographing dogs is all golden-hour lighting and well-behaved Golden Retrievers sitting like good bois?

Oh no, my friend. Welcome to the real world of canine photography—where the dogs are disobedient, the treats are eaten in one big gulp, and their humans are on the verge of emotional collapse.

Exhibit A: The “Sit” That Never Happens

Every shoot begins the same way. I kneel down with my squeaky toy, my camera, and an optimistic heart.

“Okay, Buddy, sit!” commands the chirpy pooch owner.

Buddy looks me in the eye, winks, and sprints into a nearby mud puddle.

The owner gasps. I fire off ten shots mid-leap. By the time Buddy returns (soaked, muddy, and glowing with pride), I’ve captured the essence of his soul: untrainable and unapologetic.

Bull Breed dog running at camera on beach

Exhibit B: The Treat Bribe That Backfired

Some dogs will do anything for a treat. Others will do everything at once, immediately, and violently. I once tried to lure a bull terrier into a sit with a peanut butter biscuit. He leaped onto my lap, knocked over a light stand, stepped on the remote shutter, and accidentally took a 47-shot burst of his own butt hole. It was his best angle, honestly.

Exhibit C: Zoomies: The High-Speed Chase I Never Trained For

If you've never tried to photograph a precious pooch during a full-blown case of the zoomies, imagine trying to take a passport photo of a caffeinated tornado. I’ve crawled on hands and knees, backwards through cow pats, belly-crawled through puddles, and once fell into a prized and neatly coiffed shrub to get the shot.

(The shrub is fine. My dignity, not so much.)

Exhibit D: The Nose Smudge Files

Pro tip: Windex is your best friend.

Naughty dogs LOVE to smush their wet, curious noses directly onto your lens the moment they realize it’s important. I could have entire folders of high-res nose boops, which I could exhibit as abstract art. Some people pay good money for that kind of intimacy.

Exhibit E: My Own Dog - Partly Bluett

Many years ago, coming home from work I noticed my dog, sitting outside my house, watching me drive up the hill. It was beautiful autumnal light and the sun was low and I was entranced by the golden leaves, the silhouettes of the trees, the fact that my pooch had got out of the back yard yet was sitting patiently waiting my return and most of all, the beautiful halo of light that seemed to surround his head – ‘an angel dog’ I thought dreamily to myself, before driving closer and realising, that that halo of divine virtue, was in fact, the cat door.

Three of my dogs - Partly Bluett at the back, with Badger & Beetle Magoo

Exhibit F: Tail Wags and Chaos: Why I Still Love It

Despite the madness, the muddy paw prints on my shirt, and the occasional vigorous face lick (looking at you, Morton, the Mastiff), I wouldn’t trade this job for anything. Naughty dogs are full of personality, and personality is what makes photos memorable. I don’t want perfect—I want real.

And sometimes “real” means a dog taking a leak on my leg as I am busy chatting to his owner about what to expect.

(Yes, that happened. No, I don’t want to talk about it.)

Final Thoughts

So, if you’ve got a dog who won’t sit, won’t stay, and has more energy than a can of V, bring them to me. We’ll capture their chaos in all its unfiltered glory. And maybe—just maybe—we’ll get one frame where they look like a majestic angel. Before they immediately tackle me for the squeeky toy in my pocket.

Bring it on, bad dogs. I’m ready for you.

(After I lint-roll this fur off my lens.)

P.S. No dogs were harmed in the making of these photos. Me, however? Currently, (happily) hobbling about in a leg brace, relieved I can still keep calm and carry on.